There are many different theories that emphasizes about the idea of keeping the truth from being told. Be it for oneself's benefit or another. Also famously known as a "lie".
"Why do people lie? What do you get from lying? Is lying even acceptable?"
The many theories that I have encountered during the intense research for the past few days for "legit" net and books content about these theories are usually relative to one's morality. Both subjectivism and objectivism morality. (I will assume that you understand about the two terms that I have just mentioned because that is not the main point that I would like to cover for this post)
Theories that overlapped each other in a few websites (which I will mention as usual) covers fully in the FIVE different Moral Theories which I would only pick THREE where I deemed most relevant to my experience. After wrapping this portion up, it will be linked to the legit section of the "Theory of Lying". Followed by my view and brief summation on "Theory of Lying" based on my previous experiences and some of my reader's shared experiences.
The Three Moral Theories
- The Divine Command Theory of right and wrong (DCT)
> By the word "divine" we can clearly understand that this theory is clipped to the
aspects of our religious beliefs or whatsoever. Be it Islam, Christianity or Hinduism.
If one's religion forbids lying or allows lying to a certain extent, then one shall
follow as ordered.
Remember Alan and Brenda? If Alan lied to Brenda about him not getting
tired of giving, when he was, and DCT mentions that you shouldn't lie "no matter
how much good would do or evil it would prevent, no matter whether one’s objective in
telling the lie is selfish or altruistic, no matter whether the lie would benefit the
person being lied to" it will still be deemed as immorally correct, which makes the
lie, unacceptable.
- Act Utilitarianism (AU)
> An excerpt from a the web, "this theory claims that an act is morally right if and
only if it produces more total happiness (not just for oneself, but all of society)
than any other act that one could have performed in the circumstances. The morally
right act is the one that maximizes “utility,” which just means “happiness” or
“well-being.”"
From this we can understand that, anything that will affect the happiness is a big
NO NO for those with this morality's mindset. AU assumes that honesty usually
produces more happiness in the long run than dishonesty does. (If you’re in one of the
rather exceptional situations in which lying would produce more
total happiness in the long run based on careful predictions of the future
based on all information available, then AU says that you have a duty to lie.)
- Kantian Moral Theory
> A German philosopher, Immanuel Kant. (that is how the name came about huh?) The strong
point about this theory is that i) it does not depend on religion or any religious
assumptions (professional judgement < Really?), and ii) it demands respect for
individuals and their rights, and thus, avoids the main objection to AU. People with
such mindsets aka Kantians believe that it is important to give dignity and respect to
others for they are moral agents who has the benefit of free will and reasons.
Kantian ethics supports the idea of "informed consent". Examples like, doctors have a
duty to obtain “informed consent” from a patient before treating him for his condition.
Similar to "thieves", Kantians believe that they ought to serve jail time only if they
admit that they deserve such treatments as a consequence of stealing. Otherwise if
they can "bullshit" their way out, and make sure they sound morally right, they are off.
(Kantians do no make a good judge, do you think so?)
Read more? Here is the source ( http://web.nmsu.edu/~dscoccia/323web/323eththe.pdf )
Now, with such background information being "clearly" explained in the Three Moral Theories, lets move on to, "Why do people lie? What do you get from lying? Is lying even acceptable?"
Your Theory on Lying by theories.com / thehopeline.com
A person lies when he/she is aroused and anxious in a situation. This emotions developed when fear in the individual's mind assumes that he/she will be caught in the lie or rejected for such a lie. This arousal can also be caused by the conflicting thoughts in the individuals mind. There are instruments like the lie detector and speech error detectors were created to detect this arousal. Pupil dilation is also a very common form of arousal. (that is why poker players wear dark shades to conceal the pupil dilation when they are lying)
Fear. Fear of what we don't know or assume for the worst empowers the habit of lying. Quoting from an American storyteller Tad Williams, "We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger."
So, "What do you get from lying?" also is the answer to what motivates liars to lie, avoiding social conflicts. Lies are typically motivated by a desire to get other people to eaither do something or not do something, or to make a decision in favor of the person (the liar). Someone might lie to get something they desire - sex, money, status, power, love, etc. But many times, pride of fear is what drives liars.
Acceptability of a lie again depends on your moral behind a lie like the three concrete examples you see from the top explanation about the Three Moral Theories. if you are a DCT, chances of you accepting lies is rather low and if you're an AU, chances of accepting that lie, is quite high.
My Theory on Lying
Now that we know that such moral theories exists, lies are bound to happen because humans are the number one species in deception because we need to be deceptive for survival or, we have no other choice. Let me tell you what I think and observe about lies and liars. Some easy tips for beginners poor liars too! (I find the top part a little draggy but its worth it!)
1) Lie decently. Sometimes liars tend to not polish their lies up and not leaving open ends.
When you do so, the next time you lie, you tend to add more and more details to it.
Therefore before lying, go practice it like its a story or a speech you are going to give
later on to your parents, your lecturers or whoever that you are lying to.
Never exaggerate! In the future, the one that remembered your story, might ask, "How did you
tell me the food tasted again?" And when you forget a certain line you said before, you're
going down.
2) If it is a last minute lie, avoid these obvious mistakes that gives the lie away.
- Emphasizing on the people you are with rather than the details to what you did.
- Only mentioning where you were specifically at. (include on the details of a place or
places around that venue)
- Extra usage of adverbs like, "very" and "really".
- Make is believable. You don't want to end up, "Oh man, I shouldn't have said I tried
that."
- Don't avoid eye contacts and start scratching any parts of your face especially your
nose.
Lies, has been helping us in some ways or another, either saving your ass or saving someone's else day for not making them disappointed or whatsoever. Point is, the fact that your are lying means you are putting down your self-respect as an individual. So start being an honest liar from now onwards. If it can be avoided to make things better for the future why not? Own up and take 100% ownership for the doings you have already done. With that, here's a situation which I think I need help too.
I have met some of my friend's parents who worries a little too much about their children in school. Who they are mixing with and the things they do outside and away from their supervision. When one of the parent comes to you discreetly, asking, "How has my boy been in school for the past few years?" Instead of telling the truth - Her kid is actually abusing drugs in school and I cannot do anything about it. - I lied to her telling her that her son is one of the bright students in my school. Topping classes. I made the old lady smile for that moment.
Is that a “big” or a “small” lie? DCT's mindset and Kantians would all disapprove of this lie, claiming that it is morally wrong. AU would surely approve of it. What do you think?
More about honest liars: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpEeSa6zBTE
(TED talks are the most interesting talk seminars conducted online. Easy to understand and most relevant up to date!)
Special thanks to Nyimas Hanani for her interest in the topic :>
Burning information or theories that you think I can share with my readers?
Email me at theoryaboutanything@gmail.com
Thankyou!
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