For this post, it will be segmented into two parts. The first part is about the theory that my friend and I came out with like the one I have mentioned before, "Theory on Relationships". The other half is about legit theories that has been documented and applied to different relatable examples.
It started off when we were discussing about how and what we could do to maintain or break off a relationship regardless of who he or she is to our respective lives. Then we came to a conclusion that there are two terms that we observed in relationships. (you can disagree if you want but please hear me out)
"A need" vs "An addiction"
So basically, the idea of this theory is to see and forecast if relationship(s) may or may not turn out well for you. How it works according to this sketchy theory we have is that, BOTH parties should be either the one needing something or the one addicted to something. Only then, the relationship is "healthy"! (PS: At any point of time in any relationship, this "cycle" can reverse directions. So the "need" may switch to "addiction" vice versa.)
However saying so, if you have a relationship and you find that both parties are in the the "need" category or vice versa, don't worry. There is a list of factors that we have before assuming that the relationship is going to go down the drain.
Factor no. 1 - TIME
Factor no. 2 - MENTAL HOOKS (both positive & negative)
Factor no. 3 - MONEY & APPEARANCE
Lets have examples,(based on a true stories)
Example 1:
Alan meets Brenda. Alan and Brenda started dating. Alan realizes that Brenda is needing and taking things for granted be it sex, money and attention. Alan knows this because Alan found out that Brenda has been giving attention to many more others out there. The only reason why Alan feels that its not really a big deal because he finds that Brenda's needs becomes his addiction to keep on giving. Once this cycle has been established, the relationship is still and will be "healthy" until one snaps out of the cycle. Snapping out of cycle means that either the person with "a need" or "an addiction" finds that he/she has switched categories.
The flip side to this is that when Alan finds that now, he needs the attention and whatsoever instead of finding pleasure of giving the attention, Alan now falls into "a need" category. In their relationship and in this theory, both are needing the attention. Therefore, the "cycle" is broken and hence arguments will start to break out, time outs will tend to happen and so forth.
That is when we use the remaining THREE FACTORS that I have mentioned earlier. Lets see it as a checklist. Time. If Alan and Brenda had more than years invested into their relationship, they might get things worked out again and fix their cycle. Mental hooks. If agreements and promises made, both families from the couples are already close together, infested with special memories, the chances of a split-up is very unlikely. Money and appearance. One of the worst factor to be held up on. Because of a certain look your couple had, or the money he/she has, he/she decides to cooperate and work things out again.
Example 2:
Carly, a young fine woman who does not really care about the guys that come and go in her love life. Calls herself a s*** for giving what any male would want because she is obviously, addicted to it. Carly has never met anyone that could actually sweep her off her feet until one fine day Donald came into her life. He was the most polite gentleman (please note that gentlemen are polite by default but I would like to emphasize on the politeness of this guy) she has ever met. Sex, was never in their conversations. It was too good to believe for Carly herself.
Being thrown into this category of "an addiction" from the start, Carly craves for lust. Donald on the other hand, needs true love and attention. From this theoretically, we can see that this relationship will work out.
But something happened along the way. The couple find themselves feeding off each other and there was not really any commitment. (This phenomenon will be further explained in part 2 of this post) Somewhere in the cycle got interrupted and the 3 FACTORS did not really help in this relationship because all three were "weak" or so to say.
From these two examples the both of us could say that, this theory can actually adapt to different stories. Maybe to save it or to throw that current chapter away. There are many more examples we tried making sense of and yes, it made sense!
Therefore I would like to conclude with a summarized equation,
Lasting Relationship = Need / Addiction = 1
Ever Lasting Relationship = Need / Addiction + (3 factors)
Burning information or theories that you think I can share with my readers?
Email me at theoryaboutanything@gmail.com
Thankyou!
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